Any Time Spent...

From Dr. Todd Sellick, Winnipeg marriage and family therapist and co-creator of A Private Affair! (game for couples)
How might you fill in this blank?

Any time spent _____________ is absolutely not a waste of time!

Come up with an idea? What was the very first thing that came to your mind?

Now, ask your husband or wife for their “first response.” Any surprises there? A penny for your private thoughts?

I wonder, as we think about New Year’s resolutions or goals (sounds clinical) for the coming year, if we might do better to brainstorm with this simple question for just a few minutes.
We’re well aware of things that consume and that often feel such a waste of time; the mostly non-negotiable. But perhaps it might be more helpful and clarifying to identify five things that we know we just love to do, things that make a day feel so worth-while, things we happily recall as time so well spent, and time not wasted… as we drift off to sleep at night. Things in the spirit of “…now that was a great idea! …that was time well-spent!”

And yet, life can so easily get away on us and these ideals can so easily get snowed under and lost.

Charles Hummel captured some of this thinking brilliantly in his very little book “Tyranny of the Urgent,” in which he suggested that our lives are dominated, not by the important, but by the urgent.

Steven Covey, many years later challenged us to set these priorities straight, in his book “First Things First!” I believe it was Covey who also intoned “the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

And long before Nike swished us with the “Just Do It,” Goethe regaled his listeners with his urgent plea to (for goodness sake!) just BEGIN something new! Now!


But begin what?
The top ten New Year’s Resolutions, though worthwhile I’m sure, are not overly inspiring. Get fit, quit smoking, quit drinking, lose weight, get out of debt, get along better with folk, etc. These seem quite far from the inspiration of that old Lutheran Pastor…

“Who loves not women, wine and song remains a fool his whole life long.” - Martin Luther (1483-1546)

Hmm. One suspect that Luther got up to all sorts of shenanigans at his new years party!

Instead of (or perhaps in addition to) New Year Resolutions, see what your brain drifts up, in one minute or less, list…

For me, any time spent _____________ is absolutely not a waste of time!
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________

Got them? Five passionate truths about who you are when you are most yourself!

Now write these somewhere into your day-timer or wallet or phone or PDF. Five cogent reminders about what’s really important, what matters, what will make the difference in the long run, have enduring value, you name it.

Ask your husband or wife to do the same. No cheating. Compare notes and perhaps discover something about the other. And then… ask each other for help!

“Would you please… help me get to these things this year? Can I help you with yours? Can we help each other? Just five things?”

My suspicion is that these five ideas might be a bit more stimulating and rewarding than your garden variety New Year’s Resolutions.

And if we have not only our own for reminder, but also each other’s list as we go through our days and through this year (even on scrap of paper in your wallet) then perhaps we’ll be a bit more aware and a bit more intentional about what really brings life and satisfaction to our lover. And maybe, maybe we really can help!

Someone once remarked that “the main disease of old age is regret.” Do you think this may be true? What a harsh reality. But also an inspiration to think about what it might be for us to be a bit more true to ourselves as we launch into a new year. These five passionate ideas are a start.
Carpe diem! (x 5)

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!” – Goethe – (1749-1832)

In this post we pose the question, “For me, any time spent _____________ is absolutely not a waste of time!”

Love to hear your comments here or on the original post here.

A True Act of Beauty

I was driving in my car when I witnessed a sight that was both heart-breaking and heart-warming. I was on Main Street around lunch time on route for an appointment. The streets and sidewalks were busy with drivers and walkers. I stopped at a red light.

Looking around like I usually do, a situation caught my immediate attention. I am not oblivious to the homeless situation in our city. I know that this is a problem for not only Winnipeg, but for cities all over the world. It’s more than a problem; it’s an epidemic. So armed with this knowledge, why is it that every time I see a destitute soul, tears are just one blink away? At first, I thought the greyish, crumbled mass on the sidewalk was a bag of garbage. I then noticed two young gentlemen walk past this same mass, but then quickly turned around to investigate their finding. It was not a heap of trash. It was a homeless man. In that brief moment, waiting for the light to turn green, I experienced a number of different emotions. First, I was ashamed at myself for mistaking a human being for a bag of garbage. Second, my heart was filled with sadness for this soul who very likely never dreamed that this would be the life he ever envisioned for himself.

In an instant, my mood changed from sadness to an undeserving sense of pride. Not in myself, but for the two young men who showed compassion towards this individual. They were probably in their mid 20’s and very well dressed. There seemed to be no hesitation on their part as they got down on their hands and knees, lifted him off the pavement, carried him and then gently placed the homeless man against a side of the building where he had collapsed. The light turned green.

I took the same route back when my appointment was over. As I approached that same street corner I could see the flashing lights of an ambulance. Paramedics were talking to the young men who, for all I know, saved a man’s life that afternoon. It was difficult to watch that scenario play out before my eyes, but in the same breath it was beautiful to witness a true act of kindness, consideration and love.

Contributor: Kim Malchuk, Author of Tasting Rain
Website: http://tastingrain.com/